"How The Child Of God Should Dress"

Ah yes....I search through my bookshelves until I found them. My two booklets I picked up from TFC where some "under the law" pastor left them. I have kept them for research and comedy purposes.

I will give quotes from my personal favorite: "How The Child Of God Should Dress".

"The Child of God has an obligation to the Bible to dress correct, go to the right places, and have the right friendships."

"The Bible teaches that nakedness is a sin."

(Ok, this is one is long, but is so funny, I just can't find a good place to cut it off.")

"Go to many of our modern churches. You will see men in the choir with T-shirts (yes T-shirts in the house of God) [<--I love that part...thats hilarious] advertising some worldly product or activity with hair down on their shoulders, wearing a necklace and an ear-ring. The women will have on short dresses with a low or plunging neck line and painted like they are fixing to go to a war party. Even a long dress with a split up the side will bring attention to the body. What has happened to the Old Time Religion we used to know? The women would come into the house of God dressed from head to toe. The only revealing of their body was when the Holy Ghost got them excited and they began to shout and wave their bonnets. You can tell that the average woman does not come into the Church to worship because if God showed up and they began to cry there would be a real mess running down their face."

Speaking of Adam and Eve: "God made them coats of skins. All of us know that coats cover more than aprons."

"It is a shame and a disgrace to see a preacher and his wife out in the public dressed in immodest apparel. In these days, it is common to see a preacher out jogging or working in the yard in shorts or without a shirt. His wife will be dressed in tight fitting jeans, shorts, a halter top, or a compromise of culottes, with bobbed hair and thinking nothing of it."

"God does not smile on the sin of NAKEDNESS. Much could be said about drunkenness but that is another issue. One thing I do want to mention is that drunkenness is associated with nakedness."

"Most church members get upset when they see Sodomites parade up and down the street in dresses (women's clothing) but totally defend women wearing pants (men's clothing)."

"Women have been dressing in slacks for years now, have cut off their hair, and moved into the work force that should be for men. The Bible said that woman was to be keepers at home."

"...I have seen many wives and mothers leaved the home to help make a living with their husband.....Many times when women are on the job they meet somebody else they think is more interesting to them than their husband and then, you know the story."

(Ok, ok, this one is hilarious...)

"There is a universal symbol used to indentify the rest rooms for men and women. The men's rest room is identified by a stick figure symbol wearing pants. The women's rest room is identified by a stick figure wearing a dress. It is amazing how much this corresponds to the Word of God."

"It is not uncommon to see women dressed just like men with short hair and a masculine walk."

"I've always said that I want to dress like a man, walk like a man, look like a man, and smell like a man even if I have to leave my right guard off."

"Men should always keep their hair cut and not wear it long. Long hair on a man is a shame unto him. A woman's long hair is her glory. In this day, it is not uncommon to see men with longer hair than their wives. God help us, we are in trouble."

"If you start a child off dressing contrary to the Bible, he will grow up without the bible having any control over him. No wonder our jails and prisons are full."

"If you drive by some churches on a Saturday, you will see teen-agers playing ball of some sort in indecent attire. They may be washing cars or having a bake sale, half naked, trying to raise money for some unholy trip or swimming party."

Ok, ok. I have to stop. I don't know about you, but I'm crackin' up. But this is a real booklet. I think they go to that church that Michael had a picture of. Ok, I have to go check the mail....naked.