Lame Jokes

It is now time for some lame jokes.

Two peanuts were walking down a spooky road at night... One was assaulted.

Two ropes walk into a bar. The bartender says to the rope "Hey! we don't serve ropes in here" so one of the ropes left. The other rope frayed up his hair and tied himself in a knot. The bartender said to the rope "Are you a rope?" and the rope said " I'm afraid not"

Two old guys at an old folk's home shooting the breeze. One says "How's the memory?" The other says "Perfect, knock on wood", and raps his knuckles on the table. 2 minutes go bye, and then he says "Somebody gonna get the door or what?"

Did you hear about the cannibal who passed his brother in the woods one day?

Whatdaya call a cow with two legs? Lean Beef. Whatdaya call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef. Whatdaya call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter, he ain't gonna come anyway...

One day this guys house was on fire so he decided he better call the fire department. He got on the phone with the chief and the man was very frantic. The man said chief you have to get over her my house is on fire. The chief says calm down, how do we get to your house, and the man said you don't have those big red trucks anymore!

Did you hear about the cannibal who came home late for dinner and his wife gave him a cold shoulder?

What do you call a sleepwalking nun? Roamin' Catholic.

Why don't blind people skydive? Because it scares the crap out of their dogs.

What did the bald man say when he got a comb for his birthday? "Thanks, I'll never part with it!"