I have to post at home, because a firewall at work won't let me. Problem is, I'm usually too tired or busy to feel like doing it. But I just have a little battery power left on the laptop, so if I'm going to post something I better go ahead. It has been since Monday since I last posted....so....that means I'll only post 17 to the 3rd power more times than David and Jared per month.
So... my garage...
I changed the oil in the van and truck recently. Drained the oil in my plastic oil pan as usual. Well, after we left for the weekend, ...SOMEHOW...the drain cap on the oil pan came off....not sure how, it was in a closed garage. So when we came home from visiting my parents, we open the garage and I see a giant black puddle in my garage and flowing out into the driveway. I had to deal with seeing that for a day or so, until I could go to Walmart and buy some cat litter to pour on it to soak it up. So first I had an oil pond...then I had a oil / cat litter sludge spot in my garage and driveway...and then....I come home next and now...I see some animal has noticed the litter and decided to crap in it.
So now I have oil...covered with litter....sprinkled with a crap topping.
Yes!
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
Monday, August 28, 2006
Charlie Moment 8.27.06
Today in class I was teaching the meaning of "-ology" ("the study of") and "-ologists" ("one who studies"). They would call out an -ology word and I would tell them what it was the study of.
Basic idea of what happened...
Student A: ...Biology!
Mr. Kelly: ...The study of life!
Student B: ...Zoology!
Mr. Kelly: ...The study of animals!
Student C: ...Geology!
Mr. Kelly: ...The study of Earth!
Student D: ...Gynecology!
Mr. Kelly: ... ... ... ......................
Basic idea of what happened...
Student A: ...Biology!
Mr. Kelly: ...The study of life!
Student B: ...Zoology!
Mr. Kelly: ...The study of animals!
Student C: ...Geology!
Mr. Kelly: ...The study of Earth!
Student D: ...Gynecology!
Mr. Kelly: ... ... ... ......................
Saturday, August 26, 2006
Jason Anthony has seen the light!
Well, apparently Jason has repented of his sins and has come around and decided to post more frequently. Thank you JASON!!! Go to his site: www.microcosm-of-mediocrity or just click on his link on my sidebar.
Thursday, August 24, 2006
Charlie moment and another moment avoided
I had a Charlie moment, and almost had another.
1) The one I had. I was leaving work with a female co-worker. Not a small lady. She starts getting in her car as I pass by. Her car is not a big car. She sits down in her car and she still had her big purse in her hand as she's getting in. As I walk by this lady getting in her smaller car with her big purse I say "You look crowded in there!"
Not a great choice of words.
2) I very well could have had a Charlie moment when I had to go back to work for Parent night. I took some snacks, one of which that I brought in the building with me was a bottle of cream soda...but it was in a glass bottle, so it looks like a bottle of beer. When I was in my classroom I put it in the closet so people wouldn't see it sitting on my desk. So I could just see some parent walking in and seeing me sneaking what looks like a bottle of beer out of a closet, sipping it and slipping it back in the closet.
1) The one I had. I was leaving work with a female co-worker. Not a small lady. She starts getting in her car as I pass by. Her car is not a big car. She sits down in her car and she still had her big purse in her hand as she's getting in. As I walk by this lady getting in her smaller car with her big purse I say "You look crowded in there!"
Not a great choice of words.
2) I very well could have had a Charlie moment when I had to go back to work for Parent night. I took some snacks, one of which that I brought in the building with me was a bottle of cream soda...but it was in a glass bottle, so it looks like a bottle of beer. When I was in my classroom I put it in the closet so people wouldn't see it sitting on my desk. So I could just see some parent walking in and seeing me sneaking what looks like a bottle of beer out of a closet, sipping it and slipping it back in the closet.
Drivers License Info
This is upsetting, thought I should pass it along.
Check your driver's license... Now you can see anyone's
Driver's License on the Internet, including your own! I just searched
for mine and there it was... picture and all! Thanks Homeland Security!
Privacy, where is our right to it? I definitely removed mine,
I suggest you all do the same.... Go to the web site and check
it out. Just enter your name, City and state to see if yours is on file. After your
license comes on the screen, click the box marked "Please Remove". This will remove
it from public viewing, but not from law enforcement.
Go to this site:
>http://www.license.shorturl.com
Check your driver's license... Now you can see anyone's
Driver's License on the Internet, including your own! I just searched
for mine and there it was... picture and all! Thanks Homeland Security!
Privacy, where is our right to it? I definitely removed mine,
I suggest you all do the same.... Go to the web site and check
it out. Just enter your name, City and state to see if yours is on file. After your
license comes on the screen, click the box marked "Please Remove". This will remove
it from public viewing, but not from law enforcement.
Go to this site:
>http://www.license.shorturl.com
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
Rattlers freed in "Snakes on a Plane" theater prank
Rattlers freed in "Snakes on a Plane" theater prank
Email this Story
Aug 22, 6:38 PM (ET)
PHOENIX (Reuters) - Life imitating art is all very well. Unless, that is, it's a movie about deadly snakes on the rampage.
Movie chain AMC Entertainment Inc. said pranksters at one of its Phoenix theaters released two live diamondback rattlesnakes during a showing of the film "Snakes on a Plane" last Friday. No one was injured.
AMC spokeswoman Melanie Bell said, "One was found in the parking lot during the show, and the other in the movie theater. They were both removed, and no one was harmed."
The snakes were later released in the desert.
Bell had no further details.
The movie stars Samuel L. Jackson, and spins a yarn about a crate-load of escaped snakes that run amok on an airline flight, attacking passengers and crew.
"There were kids at the show, and it was actually very reckless," Russ Johnson, the president of the Phoenix Herpetological Society told Reuters.
"The snakes' bite carries a powerful venom that could have seriously injured someone," he added.
Email this Story
Aug 22, 6:38 PM (ET)
PHOENIX (Reuters) - Life imitating art is all very well. Unless, that is, it's a movie about deadly snakes on the rampage.
Movie chain AMC Entertainment Inc. said pranksters at one of its Phoenix theaters released two live diamondback rattlesnakes during a showing of the film "Snakes on a Plane" last Friday. No one was injured.
AMC spokeswoman Melanie Bell said, "One was found in the parking lot during the show, and the other in the movie theater. They were both removed, and no one was harmed."
The snakes were later released in the desert.
Bell had no further details.
The movie stars Samuel L. Jackson, and spins a yarn about a crate-load of escaped snakes that run amok on an airline flight, attacking passengers and crew.
"There were kids at the show, and it was actually very reckless," Russ Johnson, the president of the Phoenix Herpetological Society told Reuters.
"The snakes' bite carries a powerful venom that could have seriously injured someone," he added.
Monday, August 21, 2006
Is anything bad going to happen tomorrow? (In a world sense)
If you have any idea what I'm talking about, leave your opinion. And don't be a wussy and wait till after tomorrow to do it. My prediction is ....nothing yet. (I hope.) But it's still enough to raise a red flag.
Sunday, August 20, 2006
Charlie Moment - First Week of School
I teach somewhere in the neighborhood of 140 students. I have one Indian (not Native American) several Hispanics, one African American and the rest are Caucasians.
The other day, I was trying to get this boy's attention. The Indian boy's name is "Ansh"...and so I was saying, "Ansh!"...."Ansh!"...."Ansh!!!"
Too bad he's Hispanic and his name is Miguel.
The other day, I was trying to get this boy's attention. The Indian boy's name is "Ansh"...and so I was saying, "Ansh!"...."Ansh!"...."Ansh!!!"
Too bad he's Hispanic and his name is Miguel.
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
Some new (and some not new) Chuck Norris sayings
Some of these may be new. I love them. Because Chuck Norris bids me to.
-------
Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.
# Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost
# Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesnt get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.
Chuck Norris can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.
# If tapped, a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.
# The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
# A picture is worth a thousand words. A Chuck Norris is worth 1 billion words.
# Chuck Norris once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography.
# When Chuck Norris talks, everybody listens. And dies.
# Chuck Norris once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography.
# When Chuck Norris talks, everybody listens. And dies.
# When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.
When taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer. You will score over 8000.
# Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
I know this one is old for sure, but I’m including it because I like it so much….
# On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
# Chuck Norris has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth.
# Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his butt kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.
# The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.
# It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way.
# James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
# Thousands of years ago Chuck Norris came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its decendents now have white hair.
# Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
# Chuck Norris is responsible for China's over-population. He hosted a Karate tournament in Beijing and all women within 1,000 miles became pregnant instantly.
# Chuck Norris once worked as a weatherman for the San Diego evening news. Every night he would make the same forecast: Partly cloudy with a 75% chance of Pain.
# Simply by pulling on both ends, Chuck Norris can stretch diamonds back into coal.
# Chuck Norris is expected to win gold in every swimming competition at the 2008 Beijing Olympics, even though Chuck Norris does not swim. This is because when Chuck Norris enters the water, the water gets out of his way and Chuck Norris simply walks across the pool floor.
# The original draft of The Lord of the Rings featured Chuck Norris instead of Frodo Baggins. It was only 5 pages long, as Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked Sauron halfway through the first chapter.
# Hellen Keller's favorite color is Chuck Norris.
# Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder. Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky. Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life."
# If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period.
# Chuck Norris is currently suing myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
# Chuck Norris proved that we are alone in the universe. We weren't before his first space expedition.
# Superman once watched an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger. He then cried himself to sleep.
Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
# In an act of great philanthropy, Chuck made a generous donation to the American Cancer Society. He donated 6,000 dead bodies for scientific research.
# When J. Robert Oppenheimer said "I am become death, the destroyer Of worlds", He was not referring to the atomic bomb. He was referring to the Chuck Norris halloween costume he was wearing.
# Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
# Chuck Norris invented a language that incorporates karate and roundhouse kicks. So next time Chuck Norris is kicking your ass, don’t be offended or hurt, he may be just trying to tell you he likes your hat.
# If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.
# Chuck Norris's show is called Walker: Texas Ranger, because Chuck Norris doesn't run.
# MacGyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can roundhouse-kick his head through a wall and take it.
# What’s known as the UFC, or Ultimate Fighting Championship, doesn’t use its full name, which happens to be “Ultimate Fighting Championship, Non-Chuck-Norris-Division”.
# Chuck Norris brushes his teeth with a mixture of iron shavings, industrial paint remover, and wood-grain alcohol.
# There is endless debate about the existence of the human soul. Well it does exist, and Chuck Norris finds it delicious.
# Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. Chuck Norris jumped out of a plane and punched the ground.
# It is scientifically impossible for Chuck Norris to have had a mortal father. The most popular theory is that he went back in time and fathered himself.
# Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
# It is believed dinosaurs are extinct due to a giant meteor. That's true if you want to call Chuck Norris a giant meteor.
Chuck Norris just says "no" to drugs. If he said "yes", it would collapse Colombia's infrastructure.
# Industrial logging isn't the cause of deforestation. Chuck Norris needs toothpicks.
# Chuck Norris smells what the Rock is cooking... because the Rock is Chuck Norris' personal chef.
"Brokeback Mountain" is not just a movie. It's also what Chuck Norris calls the pile of dead ninjas in his front yard.
# When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.
# Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.
# Human cloning is outlawed because if Chuck Norris were cloned, then it would be possible for a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to meet another chuck Norris roundhouse kick. Physicists theorize that this contact would end the universe.
# Chuck Norris once went skydiving, but promised never to do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough.
# In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Chuck Norris.
# Chuck Norris got his drivers license at the age of 16. Seconds.
# With the rising cost of gasoline, Chuck Norris is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.
# Chuck Norris was once in a knife fight, and the knife lost.
# If you work in an office with Chuck Norris, don't ask him for his three-hole-punch.
# Chuck Norris was banned from competitive bullriding after a 1992 exhibition in San Antonio, when he rode the bull 1,346 miles from Texas to Milwaukee Wisconsin to pick up his dry cleaning.
# Chuck Norris qualified with a top speed of 324 mph at the Daytona 500, without a car.
Chuck Norris is a vegetarian. Meaning, he does not eat animals until first he puts them into vegetative state with his fists.
After taking a steroids test doctors informed Chuck Norris that he had tested positive. He laughed upon receiving this information, and said "of course my urine tested positive, what do you think they make steroids from?"
# When Arnold says the line "I'll be back" in the first Terminator movie it is implied that is he going to ask Chuck Norris for help.
# There are no such things as tornados. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks.
# Chuck Norris once participated in the running of the bulls. He walked.
# The Drummer for Def Leppard's only got one arm. Chuck Norris needed a back scratcher.
Chuck Norris once lost the remote, but maintained control of the TV by yelling at it in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich.
# Chuck Norris has banned rainbows from the state of North Dakota.
# Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
# Only Chuck Norris can prevent forest fires.
# When Chuck Norris makes a burrito, its main ingredient is real toes.
# Those aren't credits that roll after Walker Texas Ranger. It is actually a list of fatalities that occurred during the making of the episode.
# When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.
# Chuck Norris' favorite cereal is Kellogg's Nails 'N' Gravel.
# In the first Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn't chasing the jeep. Chuck Norris was chasing the Tyrannosaurus AND the jeep.
Most people know that Descarte said, "I think, therefore I am." What most people don't know is that that quote continues, "...afraid of Chuck Norris."
During the Vietnam War, Chuck Norris allowed himself to be captured. For torture, they made him eat his own entrails. He asked for seconds.
# Chuck Norris can jump-start a car using jumper cables attached to his nipples.
-------
Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.
# Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost
# Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesnt get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.
Chuck Norris can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.
# If tapped, a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.
# The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
# A picture is worth a thousand words. A Chuck Norris is worth 1 billion words.
# Chuck Norris once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography.
# When Chuck Norris talks, everybody listens. And dies.
# Chuck Norris once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography.
# When Chuck Norris talks, everybody listens. And dies.
# When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.
When taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer. You will score over 8000.
# Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
I know this one is old for sure, but I’m including it because I like it so much….
# On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
# Chuck Norris has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth.
# Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his butt kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.
# The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.
# It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way.
# James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
# Thousands of years ago Chuck Norris came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its decendents now have white hair.
# Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
# Chuck Norris is responsible for China's over-population. He hosted a Karate tournament in Beijing and all women within 1,000 miles became pregnant instantly.
# Chuck Norris once worked as a weatherman for the San Diego evening news. Every night he would make the same forecast: Partly cloudy with a 75% chance of Pain.
# Simply by pulling on both ends, Chuck Norris can stretch diamonds back into coal.
# Chuck Norris is expected to win gold in every swimming competition at the 2008 Beijing Olympics, even though Chuck Norris does not swim. This is because when Chuck Norris enters the water, the water gets out of his way and Chuck Norris simply walks across the pool floor.
# The original draft of The Lord of the Rings featured Chuck Norris instead of Frodo Baggins. It was only 5 pages long, as Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked Sauron halfway through the first chapter.
# Hellen Keller's favorite color is Chuck Norris.
# Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder. Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky. Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life."
# If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period.
# Chuck Norris is currently suing myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
# Chuck Norris proved that we are alone in the universe. We weren't before his first space expedition.
# Superman once watched an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger. He then cried himself to sleep.
Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
# In an act of great philanthropy, Chuck made a generous donation to the American Cancer Society. He donated 6,000 dead bodies for scientific research.
# When J. Robert Oppenheimer said "I am become death, the destroyer Of worlds", He was not referring to the atomic bomb. He was referring to the Chuck Norris halloween costume he was wearing.
# Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
# Chuck Norris invented a language that incorporates karate and roundhouse kicks. So next time Chuck Norris is kicking your ass, don’t be offended or hurt, he may be just trying to tell you he likes your hat.
# If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.
# Chuck Norris's show is called Walker: Texas Ranger, because Chuck Norris doesn't run.
# MacGyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can roundhouse-kick his head through a wall and take it.
# What’s known as the UFC, or Ultimate Fighting Championship, doesn’t use its full name, which happens to be “Ultimate Fighting Championship, Non-Chuck-Norris-Division”.
# Chuck Norris brushes his teeth with a mixture of iron shavings, industrial paint remover, and wood-grain alcohol.
# There is endless debate about the existence of the human soul. Well it does exist, and Chuck Norris finds it delicious.
# Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. Chuck Norris jumped out of a plane and punched the ground.
# It is scientifically impossible for Chuck Norris to have had a mortal father. The most popular theory is that he went back in time and fathered himself.
# Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
# It is believed dinosaurs are extinct due to a giant meteor. That's true if you want to call Chuck Norris a giant meteor.
Chuck Norris just says "no" to drugs. If he said "yes", it would collapse Colombia's infrastructure.
# Industrial logging isn't the cause of deforestation. Chuck Norris needs toothpicks.
# Chuck Norris smells what the Rock is cooking... because the Rock is Chuck Norris' personal chef.
"Brokeback Mountain" is not just a movie. It's also what Chuck Norris calls the pile of dead ninjas in his front yard.
# When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.
# Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.
# Human cloning is outlawed because if Chuck Norris were cloned, then it would be possible for a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to meet another chuck Norris roundhouse kick. Physicists theorize that this contact would end the universe.
# Chuck Norris once went skydiving, but promised never to do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough.
# In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Chuck Norris.
# Chuck Norris got his drivers license at the age of 16. Seconds.
# With the rising cost of gasoline, Chuck Norris is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.
# Chuck Norris was once in a knife fight, and the knife lost.
# If you work in an office with Chuck Norris, don't ask him for his three-hole-punch.
# Chuck Norris was banned from competitive bullriding after a 1992 exhibition in San Antonio, when he rode the bull 1,346 miles from Texas to Milwaukee Wisconsin to pick up his dry cleaning.
# Chuck Norris qualified with a top speed of 324 mph at the Daytona 500, without a car.
Chuck Norris is a vegetarian. Meaning, he does not eat animals until first he puts them into vegetative state with his fists.
After taking a steroids test doctors informed Chuck Norris that he had tested positive. He laughed upon receiving this information, and said "of course my urine tested positive, what do you think they make steroids from?"
# When Arnold says the line "I'll be back" in the first Terminator movie it is implied that is he going to ask Chuck Norris for help.
# There are no such things as tornados. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks.
# Chuck Norris once participated in the running of the bulls. He walked.
# The Drummer for Def Leppard's only got one arm. Chuck Norris needed a back scratcher.
Chuck Norris once lost the remote, but maintained control of the TV by yelling at it in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich.
# Chuck Norris has banned rainbows from the state of North Dakota.
# Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
# Only Chuck Norris can prevent forest fires.
# When Chuck Norris makes a burrito, its main ingredient is real toes.
# Those aren't credits that roll after Walker Texas Ranger. It is actually a list of fatalities that occurred during the making of the episode.
# When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.
# Chuck Norris' favorite cereal is Kellogg's Nails 'N' Gravel.
# In the first Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn't chasing the jeep. Chuck Norris was chasing the Tyrannosaurus AND the jeep.
Most people know that Descarte said, "I think, therefore I am." What most people don't know is that that quote continues, "...afraid of Chuck Norris."
During the Vietnam War, Chuck Norris allowed himself to be captured. For torture, they made him eat his own entrails. He asked for seconds.
# Chuck Norris can jump-start a car using jumper cables attached to his nipples.
Monday, August 14, 2006
oh yeah...
I just yesterday realized the humor of this...
When I got the home address of the JW that visited me, the guy said to "just call before you come."
:-0
When I got the home address of the JW that visited me, the guy said to "just call before you come."
:-0
Saturday, August 12, 2006
Death, Taxes and Jehovah's Witnesses
I just got my inevitable visit from our local conclave of Jehovah's Witnesses. Ron and Jean. An older couple. Very nice and cordial. As soon as I opened the door I knew who I'd be talking to. I talked to them on the front porch for a couple of minutes. They told me a couple of things, then I told them what I believed.
My heart was very sad for them. The man in particular was a very kind man, and I felt so bad knowing he thought he was doing the will of God, and yet unless God pulls him from his false doctrine, he and his wife will face the judgment of God.
Unfortnunately, my other resonating feeling is that of shame. I told them that I wasn't prepared to have a lengthy conversation on our differences. And I should be. I did share the basics of the gospel, but that is not the way you have to go about it with that group. If an Athiest had walked up to my door, I would have known exactly where to go with that, but I feel unprepared to communicate effectively with JW or Mormons, etc. This is my responsibility to correct.
Luckily, I remembered a tip my pastor mentioned from his encounters at his own house. While chatting with the older couple, I asked them for their home address so I could come visit them. (This tends to catch them off guard sometimes.) They agreed and gave me their information. So, just as they paid me a visit, hopefully I will get my pastor (who is able to more skillfully deal with points needing to be addressed) to go with me to visit this couple at their own house. But as Christians we should not be dependant on a church pastor to share the Gospel. We are responsible to be ready in and out of season and on rainy Saturday mornings walking around the house in your underwear (yes I put clothes on before going to the door)to engage people in our culture. What other endeavor is more worthy of study and practice? Teaching science? Working presses? Editing newspapers? House projects?
If there is anything that is worthy of "study to show yourself approved to God" - it is the communication of His Gospel.
My heart was very sad for them. The man in particular was a very kind man, and I felt so bad knowing he thought he was doing the will of God, and yet unless God pulls him from his false doctrine, he and his wife will face the judgment of God.
Unfortnunately, my other resonating feeling is that of shame. I told them that I wasn't prepared to have a lengthy conversation on our differences. And I should be. I did share the basics of the gospel, but that is not the way you have to go about it with that group. If an Athiest had walked up to my door, I would have known exactly where to go with that, but I feel unprepared to communicate effectively with JW or Mormons, etc. This is my responsibility to correct.
Luckily, I remembered a tip my pastor mentioned from his encounters at his own house. While chatting with the older couple, I asked them for their home address so I could come visit them. (This tends to catch them off guard sometimes.) They agreed and gave me their information. So, just as they paid me a visit, hopefully I will get my pastor (who is able to more skillfully deal with points needing to be addressed) to go with me to visit this couple at their own house. But as Christians we should not be dependant on a church pastor to share the Gospel. We are responsible to be ready in and out of season and on rainy Saturday mornings walking around the house in your underwear (yes I put clothes on before going to the door)to engage people in our culture. What other endeavor is more worthy of study and practice? Teaching science? Working presses? Editing newspapers? House projects?
If there is anything that is worthy of "study to show yourself approved to God" - it is the communication of His Gospel.
Thursday, August 10, 2006
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
Monday, August 07, 2006
Sunday, August 06, 2006
Important Information
Judge Judy, with her show now in syndication, has passed Oprah as the highest paid woman in television history.
Sitting on a lawn chair in Area 51
Watch the news recently, anyone?
If Israel attacks only in Lebanon, it is likely this will just fade away as another mideast skirmish.
But if Israel attacks Syrian or Iran; I think things are about to get interesting.
If Israel attacks only in Lebanon, it is likely this will just fade away as another mideast skirmish.
But if Israel attacks Syrian or Iran; I think things are about to get interesting.
Thursday, August 03, 2006
Ah Sookie!
I just put a great Micah dance video on Tori's blog. You will want to watch it. It is the best Micah video yet. It was filmed a month or more ago, but I'm just now getting made and on there. Check it out at Little Sugar Mama (link on sideabar). Leave a comment and tell us what you think.
hats
Micah has this new thing where he likes to wear my hats. Used to, he would just throw them off and play with them. Now, he like to wear them around.
But he hasn't gotten a firm grip on what defines a "hat". So you can put anything on this head and he walks around like that. Right now, he's walking around with a blue and white washrag on his head thinkin' he's the man.
But he hasn't gotten a firm grip on what defines a "hat". So you can put anything on this head and he walks around like that. Right now, he's walking around with a blue and white washrag on his head thinkin' he's the man.
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
Micah-Fu : The Evolution Continues
New technique mastered:
Mammodragon torndado-mantis
Common name:
Tittie Twister
I have no idea how he discovers these new techniques on his own...
Mammodragon torndado-mantis
Common name:
Tittie Twister
I have no idea how he discovers these new techniques on his own...
Buford, We Have a Problem
(For those who don't know, my Xbox 360 is broken, but I have a warranty, but BB is making it harder for me than necessary.)
So I called the BB in Buford and tried to get them to let me come swap it out, I talked the the Customer Service gal, and then to the manager and made my complaint that they told me I could do it, and now their not letting me. I told them they allow that in Macon, etc. She said they fired a couple of people for telling people that, bla bla bla., bottom line, despite my compaints, she still wouldn't agree to take it back in-store. So....I have no choice but to go through all that rigamaroll paperwork to get it done.
boo
So I called the BB in Buford and tried to get them to let me come swap it out, I talked the the Customer Service gal, and then to the manager and made my complaint that they told me I could do it, and now their not letting me. I told them they allow that in Macon, etc. She said they fired a couple of people for telling people that, bla bla bla., bottom line, despite my compaints, she still wouldn't agree to take it back in-store. So....I have no choice but to go through all that rigamaroll paperwork to get it done.
boo
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
zoo
Took the kids to the zoo today. Maybe I'll post pictures later. It was HOT!!!!!!! (As I'm sure Michael can attest to, since he was at 6 flags). And don't go all macho and say it wasn't hot, just cause you live in Fla. You know it was hot. The high was 99 F in ATL.
As I looked at the mighty yet majestic Silver back Gorillas, and the kingly Lions,.....one reflective thought settled on my mind...... how cool would it be to see those two fight to the death. Who would win? I think the lion probably would, but I would want the Gorilla to. Those things are super strong...and I'd want to see it pick up a lion and throw it about 150 yards in a perfect spiral. Zoo Atlanta workers...think about it....you could make this happen!!!
As I looked at the mighty yet majestic Silver back Gorillas, and the kingly Lions,.....one reflective thought settled on my mind...... how cool would it be to see those two fight to the death. Who would win? I think the lion probably would, but I would want the Gorilla to. Those things are super strong...and I'd want to see it pick up a lion and throw it about 150 yards in a perfect spiral. Zoo Atlanta workers...think about it....you could make this happen!!!
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