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This is a real excerpt from the Atlanta paper today. It is from an article talking about the bills passed on the last day of the legislature:
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One of the first bills to gain final approval Thursday amends the state's wild animal laws to allow severely disabled Georgians to own "service monkeys."

Supporters of House Bill 695 say the trained monkeys can help disabled people maintain their independence by doing little jobs such as opening cans, fetching drinks and turning out the lights.

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Ok. I don't want to be disabled.... but I know we all thinking the same thing.

I want a service monkey.

Long-term mobile phone use raises brain tumor risk: study

Now doesn't this just make you feel comfortable...
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http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20060331/sc_nm/phones_dc_3

Micah's first haircut

See Tori's blog for the story and pictures. (Link to "Little Sugar Mama and Son" on sidebar.)

Rubber meets the road ministries

My church has been focusing on North American Missions recently. In church they've shown some videos up on the big screens of missionaries in North America. The last missionary they showed was about a ministry in Atlanta called something like, "Set Free Church Memorial Street Ministries and Shelter". Something like that. It was a very long name for the sake of inclusivity. It is headed up by a black pastor/missionary. He and his wife have been serving there for about 28 years. It is "in da hood, fo real". They deal with the homeless, crack addicts, prostitutes, the down and out, etc.

Anyway, the guy came to our church tonight and spoke to the Wednesday crowd. I knew back when the pastor said he was coming, it would be good. Sure enough, it was very encouraging and inspiring. It was also challenging. This man and his family are in the middle of a hard core ministry where the rubber meets the road. He is one of those guys who has given up many comforts in order to minister to those in dire need. He preached some from Matthew where Jesus looks out on the multitude, and he had compassion for them. He spoke about the difference between sympathy, and compassion. How compassion is more than just "I'll pray that somebody will help you", but it is "I will help you."

He gave several specific stories of people who have come in through the ministry, hard core, dirty drug addics; who accepted Christ and became disciples. It was a very inspiring message. For some reason, I have a hard time not getting choked up with I hear stories like that. Something about it just rings true in my heart.

Anyway, at the end, a bunch of us laid hands on him and prayed for him. It was a privilege. I hope that I have that same commitment. That whatever, wherever, whenever, when God says go and do, that I go and do.

Chuck Norris is the first result on Google for "Awesome".

I just found this interesting

The "Sunshine Commune" in southern Montana, with over 400 estimated residents, has not had contact with the outside world since the late 1950s.

Blast from the Past

Well... here it is. But then again... there it always was. This is my new truck.

It's my new truck, yet I have been riding in it since I was 8 years old. My dad bought this truck new for about $12,000 in 1988. I remember the first time we met. (The truck and I.) Dad came to pick me up from one of those camps that you dump your kids off at for a week during the summer. After he got me, we were walking back to the parking lot. I was looking for the puke brown F-150 that we had. Instead he walked me up to this blue and white steed. It was pretty awesome at the time, for an 8 year old boy. A brand new truck.

It sure beat that ugly brown one. I remember when we got it too. I went with dad to pick it up. It was used and we picked it up at some public resturaunt or something. I just remember I had to ride home in the back and there were beer cans back there.

But this new truck was nice. And I have ridden in it for the past 18 years. It's definetly part of the family. Lots of memories.

And now, the memories will continue. I was planning on getting a mustang. I got the 302 V8 part anyway. Micah's medical bills put a kink in my 'stang plans. But thats just how it goes sometimes.

In some small way...I'm glad it happened. It's no hot-rod, and maybe even, as Michael once said...it's an old-man truck. ...but you know what? It's my old-man's truck. And I'm proud to have it.

And today for the first time, Micah sat in the truck that I first sat in, when I was just 7 years older than he is. Maybe one day, he can have it too.

The interior of the truck is in superb shape for an '88. My dad always took real good care of it. You can tell by looking at the seats. My next-door neighbor runs some car audio/tinting shops and I'm thinking about seeing what it would cost me to have him take off the purple tint and redo it with some "as much as legal" black. I also want the bed to be able to come up off the truck and spin 360s.

Something I like about this truck....the long-bed. None of that mini-bed stuff here. Of course there's no extended cab, so my posture will be straightened not by its own volition, but Mom always said to sit up straight. I really is nice though to have the long-bed. As soon as I had the truck I hauled a wooden picnic table in it. Plenty of room.

I was expecting to get a 302 V8. Just not in a truck. But I like knowing I have the power...just like He-man.

IR

You know....I just don't know how I can do it. How do you injure yourself doing nothing? NFL players can get clobbered by 400 pound linemen and walk it off. I just leaned back and stretched....then I remembered something I had to do, so I jerked my head up while I was leaning back...and now I'm in pain. I strained something in my lower neck / upper back. It really hurts. I can tell this is one of those that is going to be sore for awhile.

The word "alibi", comes from the name of a prison in ancient Greece where prisoners were moved before they were released

Stop the Presses!!!!

ACTOR CHARLIE SHEEN QUESTIONS OFFICIAL 9/11 STORY

Thats right, the honorable, womanizer playing actor questions the offical story. Click here to read about it. Apparently, the twin towers were a controlled demolition from the inside that president Bush had been planning. Finally, the truth revealed!

In other Charlie Sheen news, a 500 pound cat saves Elvis from his penthouse...

One of these boyz is mine. The other is David's. I'll give you 3 guesses.

Swim time for the kids. I couldn't find Micah's usual floaty thing, so he was uncomfortable at first, but once he realized he wasn't going to pull a Titanic, he had a good time. David's mini-me was trying to drink all the water. By the way...if anyone reading this wants to purchase this hot tub, please let me know.

I thought this was funny

www.ninjalessons.com


I am thinking I should become an online trained ninja.



(I would also like to celebrate this as my 600th post. And no, I didn't use steroids.)

Afghan man prosecuted for converting

KABUL, Afghanistan (AP) — An Afghan man who allegedly converted from Islam to Christianity is being prosecuted in a Kabul court and could be sentenced to death, a judge said Sunday.
The defendant, Abdul Rahman, was arrested last month after his family went to the police and accused him of becoming a Christian, Judge Ansarullah Mawlavezada told Associated Press in an interview. Such a conversion would violate the country's Islamic laws.

Rahman, who is believed to be 41, was charged with rejecting Islam when his trial started last week, the judge said.

During the hearing, the defendant allegedly confessed that he converted from Islam to Christianity 16 years ago when he was 25 and working as a medical aid worker for Afghan refugees in neighboring Pakistan, Mawlavezada said.

Afghanistan's constitution is based on Shariah law, which states that any Muslim who rejects their religion should be sentenced to death.

"We are not against any particular religion in the world. But in Afghanistan, this sort of thing is against the law," the judge said. "It is an attack on Islam. ... The prosecutor is asking for the death penalty."

The prosecutor, Abdul Wasi, said the case was the first of its kind in Afghanistan.

He said that he had offered to drop the charges if Rahman changed his religion back to Islam, but the defendant refused.

Mawlavezada said he would rule on the case within two months.

Afghanistan is a deeply conservative society, and 99% of its 28 million people are Muslim. The rest are mainly Hindus.

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How many American "Christians", if faced with the same dilema, would also refuse to renounce him? How incredibly little we suffer for Him here. But it is in those parts of the world were Christians are persecuted, that Christianity grows the fastest. I even heard (someone correct me if I'm wrong), that there are actually more Christians in China, than there are in the U.S.

Ravi, Ravi, he's the man...if he can't do it...no one can.

I have tickets to go hear Ravi Zacharias speak at the Fox Theater in Atlanta on May 11th. I am very happy about it. I also got a ticket for David and another friend of mine, Matt, that lives around here. It ought to be good. Here is the description of the lecture...

Ravi at The Fox Theatre

"Has Christianity failed you ... and so what does this say about Jesus?"

Many people have been disillusioned with Christianity, but does this negate the message of Christ or the role of the Church in society? In recent times, many people have been turned away from Christianity in hurt and cynicism, leaving the Church's role in modern life negligible for many people.
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It really didn't matter to me what he was going to talk about. It could have been about "boiled eggs...and their role in early American life." and I still would go.

2 factoids

1)

Ants make up an estimated 15% of all animal biomass on Earth.


2)


Dear Yahoo!:
Why do we scream "Geronimo!" when we jump?
Ted
Parrish, Florida
Dear Ted:
World War II paratrooper Aubrey Eberhardt was the first to scream "Geronimo!" while jumping from great heights. Retired First Sergeant Ed Howard explains how it happened in his essay entitled "Paramount's 1939 Western Geronimo...A Forgotten Movie With a Giant Legacy."

In 1940, the United States' first Parachute Test Platoon was formed. It consisted of 50 volunteers who trained in the sweltering heat of Georgia's Fort Benning. The days were mighty hot, so the paratroopers wanted to stay cool in the evening. One night, Private Eberhardt and three friends watched the movie Geronimo at a local (air conditioned) theater.

After the film, the group discussed the jump they were to make the following morning. According to Howard, one paratrooper asked Eberhardt if he believed he could jump "without fear." Eberhardt, eager to prove his toughness, said he'd show everyone he wasn't afraid by yelling "Geronimo!" as he jumped. Eberhardt believed that if he had the presence of mind to remember the word, it would prove he wasn't scared. Questionable logic perhaps, but we're going with it.

Long story short, Eberhardt jumped, yelled "Geronimo!" as promised, and the shout quickly caught on with his fellow paratroopers. Some time later the phrase was outlawed because officers felt it would draw unwanted attention to paratroopers landing in hostile territories. That said, the "Geronimo" motto is still seen on certain military insignias, so Eberhardt's legend lives on.

Only 12 people in the last 10 years, who make less than $80,000 have been audited by the IRS.

Click this video. It's hilarious.

Charlie Moment - Stardate 3.11.2006

Charlie answering the telephone:

Charlie: "Hello?"

Other Person: "Hi, this is so and so."

Charlie: "Hi, how are you doing?"

Other Person: "Good, how are you doing?"

Charlie: "I'm doing good. How are you doing?"

The nuclear arsenal of the United States contains the explosive equivalent of 15,000 pounds of dynamite for every man, woman and child living on Earth.

Haloscan commenting and trackback have been added to this blog.

Working on a different template

...but I haven't got all the bugs worked out yet, and I'm sleepy -- so it'll have to wait till later.

A video of a climbing robot. (This Mac doesn't let me make it an automatic link.)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JzfP0Ig7eVQ

Laugh or Cry

The reason these 2 pictures are here, is because I was looking on AutoTrader for vehicles priced in the neighborhood of $2k. I was looking at vehicles that cheap because we have found the Medical profession and Pharmaceutical (sic?) industry to be quite expensive. Unfortunately we will be doing some major cutbacks. Remember that in case you call my cell phone in the future only to find Mrs. Cingular talking to you.

But I got such a kick out of these two vehicles....(especially this one). I'm scrollin' down the list of cheap trucks (to haul my trash to the landfill with [...so long trash pick-up man - I will miss you]) and I am looking at the color column, and I see like...white...red....blue...green....white....camo.

It would be hilarious for me to drive this ultra-redneck truck to work. Look at it. I don't have anyone to hunt with, but I could drive this bubba-machine to school everyday with my cool fog-lights on. Those boys that always ask to go to the li-berry would just love it.

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And then below that picture you see a Caddy. Yeah, I decided to check out all cheap cars in general...and that was in there. The mileage isn't even bad on it. Now that would be ironically funny. I go out and buy a cheap car to save some money, and I end up driving a caddy. Reminds me of Sun-Tzu's "Ancient Art of War" book; he says something like "When you are weak, make enemies think you are strong. When you are strong; make enemies think you are weak." I could wear a cheap suit and walk with a pimp cane too for the full effect.

Kneecap Nibbler

Micah is doing this thing now, where he cruises around the couch and when he gets to a person, he starts gnawing on their kneecaps. He does one...and then a minute later he does another.

Maybe he is a future canabal.

The loudest bird in the world is the Red-Throated Warbler. It's alarm call can be a piercing 122 decibels. I am unaware of anything special about their anal sphincters.

When asked to rate themselves, 81 percent of college professors consider themselves to be an "above average" teacher.

Zippadie do-da

Today was a beautiful day. We decided to drive over to Tallulah Falls and go for a picnic and a walk.

Mini-Me

Snickers insisted that she be allowed to pick her pose. She chose the over the shoulder look.

.

Perdy 1 and perdy 2

Who dat?

For some...manna in the wilderness....For Micah....crackers in the wilderness.

Micah loved everything about the trip to the park. Ok, actually this is just a picture where you can kind of see his top two teeth if you click on the picture and look close.

Here is Tori and Micah posing for a picture. Tori is smiling at the camera; while Micah concentrates on figuring out the mathmatical formula for explaining the extended length of the shadow in comparison to the original physical objects.

Sure...she looks tired....but endurance builds character.

While forcing Snickers to stand on this rail overlooking nearby water; I noticed she seemed a little nervous.........(see next photo)

heave-ho - see picture below

I believe the best way to help a small dog overcome its fear of water, is to make it face it head-on. Head-on and from 20 ft. in the air.

Snickers was tuckered out on the ride home. Here she is lying right next to the empty movie case that we tried to return.

Charlius Momentus Maximus

This is a bad one. Just happened today.

I will not tell you the backstory first, because you need to hear it fresh, just like this poor girl did.

The students are working in groups of 2. One group, close to my desk is composed of a black girl and a white girl.

They both address me and the white girl says,
"Mr. Kelly, how much time is left in class?"

Now remember, both the black girl and the white girl are basically looking at me when I say the following, (and the black girl has no idea why I would say the following...)

Mr. Kelly - "There's about 3 1/2 gorilla lengths left. And I have no idea how to translate gorilla time to real time."

Thats right. I said this to a group of two girls. One of whom is black.

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Why I said that....

The white girl's favorite band is the "Gorillaz". And I often tease her about gorillas because of it.

Of course, the black girl does not know this.

So of course, when I realized what I had just done, I had to play it off, and have the black girl ask the white one what her favorite band was, so she would see why I said that.

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Yes. A true, true Charlie moment.

How do cats "know" to use litter boxes?

Dear Yahoo!:
How do cats "know" to use litter boxes?
Felix
Catskills, New York
Dear Felix:
Cats know how to use litter boxes because they still have thousands of years of wild cat DNA floating around in their nervous systems. It's the same reason why dogs like to bury bones, or people respond negatively to high-pitched shrieking sounds.
Cats are attracted to litter boxes for elimination because they provide a sandy substrate for covering their waste. Covering waste is very important in the wild, as it helps to elude predators. A cat's urine can smell pretty strong -- it can actually attract hunters. That's why in the wild cats always urinate far from where they sleep and hunt, and they do their best to cover it up when they're finished.

To be effective, a litter box also has to provide a certain amount of space for the cat. "Taking care of business" can be a vulnerable moment in more ways than one, especially if something is actively hunting you.

If your cat is having litter box accuracy problems, you may want to consider replacing it. Most litter boxes are plastic, which means they tend to absorb odors. Try to replace your litter box with an identical model, however, as our feline friends are notoriously sensitive to changes in their environment.

Why do dogs sniff each other?

Dear Yahoo!:
Why do dogs sniff each other?
Tarna
Dear Tarna:
Last year, we addressed why dogs love to stick their heads out car windows. Now we tackle another of life's great mysteries. What's up with a pup's propensity to sniff the backsides of his friends? Such behavior would not go over well in the human world, but in the canine community, it's standard operating procedure.
A dog's nose is its strongest weapon. In fact, it works up to a million times better than a human's. A dog uses its nose not only to sniff out dead birds in the backyard and burgers on the BBQ, but also to better understand other dogs. According to Point Ask, a sniff of the rear tells a dog all sorts of things, including what the other dog likes to eat, its general health, and if a female pooch is pregnant.

Dogs also use their olefactory talents to understand humans. This article by Meg Moss explains that, with one whiff, "a dog can tell where you have been and what you have been doing, what you have eaten, and even whether you are not feeling well." Moss goes on to say that when dogs sniff each other, they learn whether or not the dog is safe to play with or if they should retreat. Basically, it's just a way of getting to know each other. Although it's apparently an effective means of introduction, we're sticking with the handshake.